


Farewell, My Love

by flipperling



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Courtroom Drama, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Legal Drama, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-11 08:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8971183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipperling/pseuds/flipperling
Summary: "Because that's the Law. Love is sharing! And if he can prove that you were in love when you bought the house, then you have to share."Kibum didn’t want to lose his house, but Jinki was still looking for a home.





	

 

"He's suing me?!"

"Well, not quite. He's going through the family courts."

Kibum paces around the room, breathing unsteadily. He can barely remember what Lee Jinki looks like, what his voice sounds like, what it would feel like to look him in the eye. He doesn't want to think about it now, especially now, but his skin begins to tingle as the bits and pieces of what he can recall are pushed to the front of his mind. _Dark brown hair, a cheeky grin, respectful (in public), and brazen (in private)._ Kibum stops pacing and takes in the air. _After 18 months of no contact,_ _this is the way he gets in touch?_

"So he's trying to take my house? For what? Because he lent me money for _six_ mortgage payments?"

"It seems like a bit more than that. His initiating application says you were in a de facto relationship at the time. It says it all right here, the affidavit, the application, the financial statement -"

"Ha!" Kibum scoffs, throwing his head back in overwrought disbelief. "He thinks we were together?"

"Well, that's what the documents - "

"He thinks we were _together_ ? Why does that even matter? It's in _my name_! And how were we even - " Kibum stops, raises a finger and leans forward. "We broke up."

"That's not really the question, Kibum."

"Then what _is_ the question?" Kibum asks, arms crossed.

"You were in a de facto relationship at the time? No?"

"Yes. But that's not -"

"- and when you were in that relationship, if his application is correct, you lived together, paid bills together, had plans to start a family together, slept together - "

"Can I please ask what's the point of this? I am aware that your hours are billable, Jonghyun."

"Kibum, let me finish." Jonghyun inhales and smiles sweetly back at Kibum, shuffling the documents on his desk. "As per the _law_ , it does not matter if you broke up, or if that was communicated. What matters is whether or not, at the time, you were _still together._ "

"What's the difference?"

"There is barely a difference, really. But the court doesn't care whether or not you said you were broken up once, twice, fifteen times. If you were still acting the way you were when you were together, then for all intents and purposes, you were still together."

"So, what does that mean?"

"It means that, if he can prove that you were, during that time, still in a de facto relationship, he'll get a much larger cut in the property than if you weren't."

"Why?!"

"Because, that's the Law. Love is sharing! And if he can prove that you were in love when you bought the house, then you have to share."

 

* * *

 

"Why are you doing this to me, Jinki?"

"Doing what?"

"I can't run a case like this!" Taemin whines. "I barely - I barely know how to draft an affidavit. I can't help you with this?"

"Why not? I thought you went to law school?" Jinki asks guilelessly.

"Yeah but - " Taemin stops. He smooths out the papers Jinki has splayed out on the coffee table and breathes. "Alright. Do you have any evidence of you being seen out together, any emails between the two of you?"

"Why do I need that? I gave you the evidence of all the mortgage payments."

Jinki wouldn't do this in any other circumstance, but he's lost too much. After two years in the repetitive spiral of abandonment and carrying on, there's nothing left to turn do. If his dignity would allow it, he would have just sent a text. But it’s been too long and reaching out in hope for something amicable, something kind seems too unlikely and feels too spineless. It's all or nothing. That's what eighteen months of silence merits - return with a crash or not at all.

"I know you only want compensation for those six payments but you might not get anything because the State court could presume it was a gift, given the, um, circumstances? If you want to go through the family courts, who will be much more forgiving, you have to prove that you were actually together. You know, as a couple."

"Oh, we _were_ together."

"Prove it to me."

 

* * *

 

The judge enters and Jinki bows along with the rest of the courtroom. Finding a spot on the wall behind the judge to keep track of, he sits with his eyes held detached in its direction.   _Just keep looking forward._ Beside him, Taemin stands awkwardly before the judge, gives his address and descends back to his seat only just managing to land on his chair. The administrative processes drone on, and Jinki's face remains unreadable.

To their right, Kibum and Jonghyun sit proudly and patiently as they await being called. Legs crossed and back straight, Kibum looks confident. _He would be,_ Jinki thinks. When they were in university, Jonghyun and Kibum were always so sure of themselves. The emboldened PhD candidate and final-year law student would stride along with a marked assurance that Jinki always thought was too theatrical for the dead, sterile walls of their university library. But regardless, he would watch as they sat and read. Every now and then, Kibum would let out a frantic laugh, the corners of his eyes curling downwards as he silently gasped. _Always charming,_ Jinki thought.

"Counsel for the Applicant, I see you would like to cross examine the respondent", says the judge in a deep rumble that sends shudders down Taemin's spine.

Taemin's voice wobbles. "Yes, your honour." He motions towards Kibum.

"Mr. Kim. Come forward then", calls the judge.

Kibum sturdies himself, turning his focus inward as he closes his eyes, breathes, and takes a step forward. Jinki looks onwards toward Kibum. The ritual is instantly recogniseable and the familiarity of it all begins to set in. _Here we go._

"Mr. Kim. Please repeat after me", the officer says. "I, Kim Kibum."

"I, Kim Kibum," Kibum replies.

"Solemnly and sincerely declare that evidence I shall give - "

"Solemnly and sincerely declare that evidence I shall give - " He breathes in.

"Will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"Will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." He exhales.

Kibum sits in the witness box, looking back at where he sat moments ago, trying not to move his focus any further to the right. He had been advised not to look at Jinki, but now, in this moment, it’s impossible not to. So he studies Jinki's face for the first time in almost two years. His hair is parted on the right and falls flush over his left eye. His eyes are open and searching, but he plays with his pens on the desk. Jinki always had something between his fingers. Kibum wonders what's going through Jinki's head, his muscles twitching as he imagines walking up out of the witness box, taking a seat next to Jinki, looking him straight in the eye and just _asking_. If he were anywhere else, he would do just that.

"Mr. Kim."

Kibum's eyes dart back to Taemin. _The poor boy._ Taemin was barely qualified to be representing anyone, he had just passed the Bar and had only done legal work with community centers. It's not that he wasn't bright - he was as bright as they come. But the ins and outs of cross-examination would likely be beyond him. It was a practical skill that they don't teach at school, and that no one would expect a junior lawyer like Taemin to be proficient in. He was shaking, his chattering body sending vibrations through the floor. Kibum could almost feel his nerves seep through the carpet. _God, that's one way to throw off a witness._

"Y-You said in your affidavit that on the date you bought the house you were not on speaking terms with the Applicant", Taemin stutters.

"Yes that's correct." Kibum replies sternly.

"You said - " Taemin gulps. "You said, also, that earlier in your relationship you had been on trips to London without the Applicant and had at times not spoken to him for approximately six to seven days. Is that correct?"

Kibum blinks slowly. His confident gaze moves to a solemn stare.

"Yes." He breathes in again, and tries to feel his feet on the ground. "That's correct."

 

* * *

 

When Kibum went away the first time, the dull ache in Jinki's chest would always be soothed by the phone calls he would receive every day at two in the morning. Kibum could hear the smile in Jinki's voice as he greeted him with a sleepy 'Morning Kibummie', able to picture Jinki's body reclining in their bed, spread out in oversized striped pyjamas as he whispered into the phone.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too.”

Kibum, from the motel kitchen, with the sound of pans clanging as he haphazardly attempted to cook with one hand and hold the phone with the other, would always call. Every now and then a clink of glass against teeth would sound through the phone as Kibum brought wine to his lips then continued to ramble about his day. Words spilling out of his mouth, warm and loving. Jinki could almost feel him in the room. He would _um_ and _ah_ as Kibum sang his adventures so fluidly that Jinki would doze off. Warm and content that Kibum was safe and busy, but still thinking of him.

 

* * *

 

"So you would agree that a period without contact of six or seven days wouldn't be enough to sever your relationship with the applicant?" Taemin asks.

"I suppose that yes, six or seven days would not be enough," Kibum responds.

 

* * *

 

The second time he went away, there were no calls, no emails, no texts. Except for the necessary 'I exit terminal 2, see you there', what Jinki heard from Kibum was silence.

Nights were spent counting down the minutes until the airport pickup, praying that when Kibum returned to him nothing would have changed. And while something clearly had, when Kibum opened the car door and smiled, Jinki kissed him. _Welcome back,_ as if nothing had shifted between them.

They drove down the highway and past the city lights, the familiar skyline distorting in a blur. Kibum opened the window. The scent of new cologne wafted through the car in a hit, and Jinki avoided the question he knew he should have asked.

_So, what happened in London?_

 

* * *

 

"Are you aware of the evidence annexured to the Applicant’s affidavit?’ Taemin’s confidence begins to build. ‘I believe it’s Annexure ten." He pauses and looks at Kibum. "It, um, it includes texts from you to the Applicant, sent after the property was purchased in your name despite the joint contributions from -"

"There were only six payments made by Jinki," Kibum interrupts, startling Taemin.

"Please allow Counsel for the applicant to finish his question, Mr. Kim", the judge says, smiling reassuringly at Taemin.

"Ah, thank you, your honour." Taemin refocuses his eyes on his notes. "Yes. Um. The texts were sent on the day of settlement to the Applicant. Are you aware of what you wrote in them?"

"Yes. I am."

 

* * *

 

_[Unknown Number]_

_8.33: Settlement is today. I love you. Please come_

_8.34: Please don't ignore me_

_9.00: Settlement is in an hour. I'm buying it for us whether or not you come._

_10.00: Jinki_

_10.02: They're here_

_10.03: Please I need you_

_10.03: please_

_10.03: Please_

_12.00: It's ours. Come home._

 

Jinki rang the doorbell, still plastic protected from its new installation, and waited. A gust of wind blew wood shavings across his face, and so, he closed his eyes and held his breath.

A week had passed since he received the messages, and he wondered if Kibum still meant it.

The door opened. In an instant, arms wrapped around him and the sound of muffled sobbing spilled into his ears. He opened his eyes, and the view of the newly plastered hallway over Kibum's shoulder sent a sharp prick to the center of Jinki’s chest. _What am I going to do?_

He positioned his arms around Kibum's waist. Whether out of habit or will, he didn't know.

“I'm sorry,” Kibum mumbled.

“It's okay.”

 

* * *

 

When it comes time for Jinki's turn in the witness box, he doesn't hesitate to stare right back at Kibum. In the end, he was more likely to find a reassuring face in him than he was in Jonghyun or Taemin. While Jonghyun was friendly and sweet in his courtroom manner, he was a fierce attorney. The dissonance between his words and his face was enough intimidation. Taemin, on the other hand, was busy fidgeting with one hand and flicking through papers with the other, noisily shuffling around his disorganised file - a huge distraction.

But when Jinki rests his eyes on Kibum’s face, the answers to each question come clearer. His presence, among other things, a convenient reminder of everything that happened.

"What did you do, once you had found out that Mr. Kim had made plans to return to London", Jonghyun asks.

"I stopped paying the mortgage", Jinki replies.

"I believe there was something else, Mr. Lee."

"I dropped his grandfather's ring in the river."

 

* * *

 

Two months on and the house felt warmer. The newly plotted trees in the backyard had started to grow, had begun finding their place in the soil. So had Jinki.

When the afternoon passed, Jinki was settled, sitting quietly under the sun roof while reading the paper and sipping soju from his mug. He heard footsteps make their way down the stairs. Exhaling, he released the emptiness from his chest with a resounding sigh. After taking in another breath he cocked his head upwards and smiled, scrunching his face, as his eyes wrinkled into obscurity, tipsy and overcome so early in the evening. Kibum, eyes filled with concern, smiled back and took his place on the arm of Jinki's seat.

"Let’s go for a walk." Kibum said.

"But I want to stay here with you," Jinki whined. He pulled Kibum by the waist and was met with a kiss on the top of his head.

"Come on, let’s go."

They wandered down the trail behind the house, past the barbed wire fences that kept the livestock away from the residential homes. The hill was so steep that Jinki suggested they build a cart for their children. _Children._ Kibum laughed, his pace quickening as he hurried Jinki along.

"Move along, old man. Hurry up!"

"Where are we going?"

They reached the riverside, and the faint drone of stray, rural-bound cars on the dirt track above them interrupted the sound of water smoothing down pebbles and stones. After crunching along the dirt and tall grass, they rested themselves on the bank. The sun turned their skin golden and the water shone purple like the sky while birds warbled lazily in the distance, ready to say goodnight.

"I know you didn't want it to be a big deal," Kibum laughed. "It took a lot for me to not plan something outrageous."

"What do you mean?"

Kibum reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet box.

"Oh no, Kibum."

"I'm sorry for everything this year. You deserve more than me, but this is the most that I can give. I want you to have it."

The sun set and the moon rose, and as the day ended, they dipped their feet in the water and held each other close. _Five years,_ Jinki thought, _but this one feels the longest._

 

* * *

 

"Discarding a ring is certainly evidence that you no longer had a continuing relationship with Mr. Kim at the time, would that be correct?"

"I wouldn't say that."

Jinki, eyes still fixed on Kibum, remembers.

 

* * *

 

That night, Jinki would sneak out of the house, _their house,_ and this time he wouldn’t return. He took nothing but a jacket, his wallet, his keys and left Kibum behind. He ran to the creek, out of breath, and sat on the same rock where Kibum made his promise. _He said he wouldn't hurt me again._

Jinki wept.

His skin went rough as the salt water hit his cheeks. His throat turning dry while he coughed and howled, wishing he didn't try again, wishing he could trust him. His body shaking and his hands weak, he slid off the ring and played with it in his fingers trying to focus on anything other than the questions. _How long has he been planning this? Was he ever going to tell me?_

He sat waiting, expecting Kibum to come searching. To explain, to tell Jinki he had it all wrong, to make the last year go away and convince them they could go back to the start. But when no one came, the pain crept up again from his stomach to his chest, to his neck to his head, and delivered a final blow from behind pushing him forward as he cried out for one more measure. _I still love him._ With that the ring fell, washed away with dirt and rock. Accidents happen.

 

* * *

 

"So then why did you discard the ring?"

"Because he still loved me, and I loved him." Jinki can almost feel it between his fingers again but this time, like when he first received it, his hands aren't wet or shaking. A flood of longing rushes over him. An expectation of security, and a chance at a future that won't be ruined by distance or distractions. It seems like it's possible again.

"I still love him." Jinki continues and Kibum feels the grip of Jinki's stare secure itself. It locks tight. "But he doesn't know what to do with that." It falls again.

 

* * *

 

Kibum loved to entertain. He took the platter of squash blossoms with pimento ricotta out from the back kitchen and squeezed through the hallway into the living room, if it could even be called that. The apartment was too small to be dining on such an expansive home-cooked meal, but Kibum was adamant. He set the food down on the coffee table with a satisfied smirk as all his closest friends gathered round hungrily.

Jinki was by the counter with a bottle of pinot grigio, snapping it open with a nearby dinner plate while the bottle opener sat idly on the table where Kibum had left it. A pop. He poured the wine into each glass, evenly delegating with expert precision. His eyes widened as he met closer to the measure, and his face scrunched once the last was filled.

"Who's ready to drink?!" Kibum laughed.

"I would like to propose a toast," Jinki announced, with a tremendous seriousness that caught the entire party off guard. Raising his glass, "To Kibum." His face lit up with a warmth and joy that had the guests let out a quiet hum of affection. "Everyone here knows how much you mean to me, so I'll spare the lengthy speech filled with chemistry jokes I know won't get much of a reaction from this crowd." The guests groaned theatrically, Kibum the loudest of all. Jinki smiled, and Kibum could barely keep himself from reaching out to run his fingers through Jinki's hair.

"Kibum, I love you. I'm so proud of you, and so is everyone in this room. You're gonna be a fantastic lecturer, and every member of your new faculty is lucky to have you on board. Aren't they?" The tiny congregation roared, huddled on the overcrowded loveseat beneath the yellow glow of the floor lamp that Kibum insisted on buying when he agreed to move in. Jinki raised his glass. "To Kibum!"

The guests cooed and Jinki laid his head on Kibum's shoulder, warm with adoration.

Kibum buried his head in Jinki's hair, in an attempt to obscure his bashfulness. "I love you," he whispered.

The night went on and the guests sipped their drinks, music playing softly as Jinki and Kibum danced in front of the muted television. They rocked back and forth, warm and loose from the wine and company. A faint chime sounded from Kibum's phone, but he continued to sway and ignore it.

A text, _congratulations love,_ from no one in the room.

 

* * *

 

"It's clear from all the evidence provided before the court that you and Mr. Kim were in a de facto relationship prior to the purchasing of the property." Jonghyun’s hands dive into his pockets, as he rocks back and forth on his heels. After what Jinki said, he can tell that if he looks back to meet Kibum, wet tears will have stained his face. So he stands his ground, for Kibum. "Can you explain to me why, if you really were still together at the time the property was purchased, Mr. Kim had purchased it in his name only?"

"May I ask…” Jinki’s head shifts in a quick movement to meet Jonghyun’s eyes. It’s sharp. “Why do _you_ think _Mr. Kim_ bought the property if not for our joint use?"

The judge interjects. "Mr. Lee. You must answer the question."

"Alright." Jinki responds calmly. "Kibum and I had planned to buy the property prior to his London trip. We had negotiated with the vendors, however I was not present on the day of settlement."

"And why were you not present?"

"Jonghyun, you know why." Jinki adds firmly. It's the first break in his overly relaxed tone, that has Kibum’s ears prick up. He begins to listen.

"Yes, but -” Interrupting himself, Jonghyun lowers his eyes and turns away. ‘But, you’ll need to enunciate the reason to the court."

"We were not on speaking terms because of what had happened on Kibum's trip to London."

"And what had happened, Mr. Lee?"

"Wait." Kibum stands up. With his back snapped straight and his chin raised, his eyes flicker to Jinki in an act of clemency that surprises everybody, including himself. "Your honour, may I speak with my counsel?"

"Would you like to have the matter stood down, Mr. Kim?" The judge replies.

"Yes, your honour. If that would be possible."

The judge obliges and Kibum lets out a sigh of relief in time with Jinki. Their eyes meet.

For the first time Kibum understands what Jinki had been trying to say.

 

* * *

 

Standing in the doorway, sobbing into Jinki’s side, Kibum heard it softly.

“It’s okay.”

Whatever washed over him wasn’t relief, but a sudden fear that whatever was to come would mean he would have to work hard. Harder than he ever had, and harder than he had already been. The thought that maybe he could never work hard enough to make things right again sent a shiver through his body.

He felt Jinki let go of his waist and step through to the entrance way. Kibum watched as Jinki examined the walls, running his fingers over the plaster, making his way through to the kitchen and opening all the cupboards and drawers. Without uttering a word, the sound of wood cabinets locking into place and the metal drawer slides echoed through the empty house. Jinki’s eyes scanned carefully over the kitchen island and through to the back window overlooking the backyard. He stared for a while, while Kibum stood behind him and looked on.

“It’s the same as when we first inspected it.” Kibum offers. “Nothing’s changed.”

“Some things have,” Jinki replied.

He slid open the door to the backyard, and took a step outside while Kibum stayed within, observing Jinki crunch the grass underneath his feet. “When we came here for the first time they hadn’t turfed it,” Jinki said, turning to face the kitchen.

“That’s true.” Kibum conceded.

Jinki stepped back in the house, rubbing his feet on the door mat that Kibum had laid. Jinki pushed out a laugh. No furniture, but of course, Kibum had left a doormat out. He rested his back against a kitchen stool, looked at Kibum and offered a smile.

They sat in silence, Kibum drinking in the view of Jinki’s face. It had been a while. A week at most. Not that long, but it felt like forever. Without the certainty of a return, of course it felt like forever.

Jinki took a step forward, the tap echoing against the tiles. But then another step back. Kibum watched. It was like torture, but he knew Jinki wasn’t going to make any movements that led to a resolve. Why should he? So he took the cue.

“Jinki.”

“Yes?” Jinki’s eyes flicked up from his feet, waiting.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I guess I _do_ know. And you know too.” Kibum sighed. “I just.”

The words couldn’t have come slower.

“I need you to know it won’t happen again, it meant nothing.”

“It doesn’t matter Kibum.” Jinki took a step towards him. “I came back. You don’t have anything left to prove to me.”

 

* * *

 

"I'm going to talk to him, I think we can settle."

"Now? Are you kidding me, Kibum?" Jonghyun's voice rises in pitch with every word, bouncing off the walls while his head shook. "Now?! After you've wasted thousands on court fees, you're going to _settle_ now?" He buries his head in his hands and shifts his weight nervously.

"I'd lose more if I don't. I can't lose him again."

"Kibum, you lost him 18 months ago. That's what you told me."

"I didn't tell you everything."

"I'm your _lawyer,_ Kibum! You have to tell me everything. You don't have to tell your best friend what's going on but God, tell your lawyer."

"Just let me talk to him. Alone."

Jonghyun sighs. "I'll talk to his counsel."

 

* * *

 

After Jinki left, Kibum never went back to London.

"Yes. Professor Moorhouse? Sorry I won't be making it to your conference." Kibum tried to keep his voice still on the phone, stifling the lump in his throat as he pushed through the call. "It's a real pity. Yes. I'm so sorry. You'll have to find another speaker."

Kibum's eyes began to sting. "I understand the opportunity and I am incredibly grateful. I am..." He looked out the window, to the view of the new backyard. The trees were taller and stronger, and Jinki's geraniums were somehow still alive. Kibum took a breath in. "I'm experiencing some trouble with my... family, at the moment. I wish I could explain further. No, no it's fine. I appreciate your concern. Thank you again for the opportunity. I can't thank you enough."

He set the phone down and sank to the floor, feeling the cold kitchen tile beneath his palms. _This can't be happening._ As he sat and sobbed, he wondered how a city could ruin his life. But that was a naive thought to have. It's what he did in the city - or more, what he didn't _stop_ himself from doing. A smile at the hotel bar, a drink, another drink, accepting a gift, a kiss goodbye, a text, _safe flight_. A series of doings that couldn't be undone.

He could never go back. The old colleges and overcast skies that he thought were just _so_ romantic spelled nothing but weakness and vanity now. _I thought I left it behind._

But it would follow him whenever Jinki's eyes wavered when Kibum mentioned anything to do with it. A plane, a tower, a speaking opportunity. A house and five years would show for nothing in the face of that memory, pushed away like a ring through the river.

 

* * *

 

When Jinki enters the mediation room, Kibum is in a chair opposite him. It's dark and cold. He's reminded of the examination halls he used to be so afraid of in those earlier years  — the hollow architecture, the hard surfaces, the identical chairs, the warmth of Kibum’s hands lingering on his shoulders, the soothing echo of Kibum’s voice in his ears whispering, _Hey, it’s going to be fine._

He never thought there would be a place he would feel more scared. That was back when Kibum was comfort and support, the furthest thing from a threat. But here in the mediation room, where Kibum sits now, arms crossed and primed like a loaded gun, _things have changed._

Jinki waits for him to open his mouth. _Why did you have to humiliate me like that? If you wanted the house, you should have asked me first? Why did you have to go through lawyers? Couldn't you have just replied? I wrote you everyday. I never denied your rights. A year and a half of being gone - what do you expect? I've made my life here. Where were you?_

"The house is yours." Kibum says.

Jinki freezes.

A moment passes and he finds some words, perhaps not the right ones. "What the fuck, Kibum? Don't be dramatic. Where will you live?"

"We’ll live in it together."

Jinki blinks, but soon takes his seat at the table, opposite Kibum. He sits far back away from it, the distance between them a chasm, as if inching closer would result in being swallowed up for good.

Kibum doesn't care though, so he pulls his chair closer.

"I never fell out of love with you," he says in a whisper.

"I know that." Jinki replies.

"Do you?"

"I do."

"Then, why did you leave?" Kibum pleads.

"Why did you?"

A stalemate again. It's only so long until one person’s stare wavers. It's Kibum's. He moves his head to the side and looks down. _God, don't crack. You're in a negotiation room._ He takes a deep breath in, settles his elbows on the table, leans forward, and attempts to smile - a truce. He watches as Jinki's mouth forms wordless shapes, slowly and carefully.

"Kibum." Jinki sounds.

"Yes."

"Do you remember when we first met?"

 

* * *

 

Jinki was panicking. He looked through the lab window, and saw them there. Beside the utility sink, just under the health and safety poster, he saw his keys on the counter. He looked down at his watch - _one hour_ \- and tried to keep breathing. He began to bang on the window, hoping for someone, _anyone,_ to unlock the door. But soon, he let down his reddened fists and hit the glass one last time with a gruff yell. He danced around on his feet, exhaled, and tried to think of a way to overcome the situation. _Oh god, oh god, oh god._

He looked down at his phone and wondered if it was worth calling someone, but there was no one. All those pleasant encounters with co-workers and passersby, who complimented his smile with a _have a nice day,_ they couldn't save him now. It hadn't been long enough to make friends in this new town, and maybe his time there would be cut short because of it. He put his phone back in his pocket. _No luck there_.

He returned to his old strategy of banging on the windows and praying that some kind of friendly rodent - in the absence of any human friends - would scurry up the frame and twist the doorknob to let him in.

"Hey!" He heard.

_That doesn't sound like a rat._

"What the hell are you doing? Be careful! You might set off an alarm."

Jinki didn't turn to look. He was too busy staring into the lab, eyes fixed on his keys. Hands and nose pressed against the glass, more focused on frowning than anything else.

"Listen. Look at me."

Jinki turned to meet the voice. _Wait, it's him._

"Alright." _Black hair, parted in the middle._ _Central library, 3 o'clock every day_. "You need to take my hands, and tell me what you left in there."

Jinki took up the offer, his now sore hands feeling warm skin on them. A grip, a squeeze.

"I left." He tried to exhale slowly for a change. "My car keys in the lab."

"Alright, and - ?"

"I have a job interview in an hour." He spat.

"Come with me."

The stranger pulled him by the hand to the staff car park, swiped a card, and opened the door to a silver sedan.

"What's the address?" He turned on the navigation system.

Without thinking, Jinki keyed it in. His hands were shaking and his lips formed an ‘O’ shape while he tried to focus and keep the thoughts of how both lucky and unlucky he was at bay. The driver laughed, started the ignition, and glanced behind him as he reversed.

"I'm Kibum, by the way."

_I know._

 

* * *

 

"We could drive out of here right now, Kibum. We don't have to deal with all this legal shit." Jinki smiles with raised eyebrows, flashing his teeth. It's wry.

Kibum can't help but smirk back. _What are we doing, Jinki?_

"Alright. We don't have to just yet."

 

* * *

 

"So, you're new?"

Jinki hummed in response.

"You're a researcher?" Kibum probed again.

"A chemist."

The voice was light and clean. Kibum had never heard anything like it.

"So what's the job for?"

"Clinical biochemistry." A soft chime.

"Sounds fancy". Kibum turned the steering wheel right and made a turn down the bridge. "Is this the right - "

"Thank you, for doing this. I really. I really, I really owe you one. I really - "

"It's okay, it's okay." Kibum rolled his eyes and smirked, glancing quickly at his passenger. He was sitting with his hands in his lap, lips pouted. _So quiet. Must be the nerves._

"Your name?"

"My? Jinki."

"Jinki, Jinki, Jinki", Kibum sang as he tapped the steering wheel rhythmically. He glanced up again, and noticed Jinki breathe into a smile, shy but toothy. _That's a killer._ Merging to the right, he spied an empty parking space. "Your stop, Jinki. What time should I pick you up?"

"Time?"

"How else are you going to get home?"

"Oh no. No, I couldn't. I -"

"Don't worry about it! You're going to be too worked up to get a cab.” Kibum smiled, satisfied. “You deserve a little bit more security in your day."

 

* * *

 

The temporary lightness of the room turns cold, and Kibum's face goes solemn again. Jinki lowers his head, blinking hard and biting his lips while trying to avoid Kibum's eyes as he spots them turning glassy and wet.

Kibum starts to speak, "I never went back to London, Jinki."

"You didn't?"

"How could I? After you left..."

"I thought I was the only thing - ” Jinki breathed. “ - stopping you from going back to whatever you had over there."

"I didn't have anything there." Kibum sighs. "Everything I have - " He stops. "Everything I _had_ was in that house with you."

 

* * *

 

Kibum stretched as he waited. Whilst keeping an eye out for his new friend, he started to wander aimlessly around the car’s perimeter, lazily extending his arms outwards as he leaned backwards to feel the tension release. The air was warm and humid, and he could feel the night begin to set in. _It's so late for a job interview,_ Kibum thought. He pushed his arms upwards for one more stretch but felt a grip on his waist from behind.

"That was amazing!" The voice beamed. "Wow!"

Kibum jumped and turned to face it. _Jinki_ . An unrestrained grin, raised cheeks and scrunched eyes. Kibum was stunned, _What a nice change._ Pulled in again for a longer squeeze accompanied by a sunny chortle that rang out into the air, Kibum held a finger up to his lips. _Shh, shh._ But as much as he wanted to remain cool and unflustered, when he locked his eyes again on Jinki's face, he cracked. He bit down on his lip to stop the spell of endearment spread across his face, but at that point it was obvious. Kibum was smitten.

"Went well?" He downplayed.

"Went amazing!"

"I'm glad."

Suddenly Kibum went shy. Jinki was still against his chest, pulled closer than the excitement of a good job interview merited. He looked down at the lack of space between them.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I - " Jinki said as he let go.

"No!" Kibum erupted. "I mean - no. It's fine. I'll take you home."

As they drove, Jinki couldn't help but let his joy radiate through the car. He turned on the radio and began to hum, flashing smiles at Kibum every time he sensed his eyes on him. Kibum smiled with his mouth pursed shut, the corners of his lips forming upturned curves while his cheeks went stiff. Jinki began to sing, and soon Kibum lost some of the control he had mustered, joining in while Jinki enjoyed all the relief he could get. In unison they sang, lighthearted and blithe, while the dark night crept up on them as they found Jinki's street.

"This day has been so... amazing." Jinki said in a murmur, smiling down at his lap.

"It must have been a _really_ good interview then, huh?" Kibum added.

"Oh, yeah!" Jinki picked up a coin from Kibum's cup holder and spun it on the dashboard. "And I finally got to meet you."

 

* * *

 

The mediation room is still. They sit as silently as they can, focused on each other without the pressure of appearing toughened. There's something between them now that feels familiar. Things are less distant, softened, as the space between the past and the present collapses into a moment. Everything echoes; the sound of their breath bouncing off the timber table, their heartbeats vibrating through their chests into the hardwood chairs.

"I can't believe you ever wanted me." Kibum mumbles, unable to raise his eyes.

"I still do."

"What?"

"Didn't I swear an oath on that stand?" Jinki titters. "I didn't lie." He stands up, moves from his side of the table over to the other and places a hand on Kibum’s shoulder. The contact familiar, sending a jolt up his arm. "I know this isn't how we're meant to do this. But I want to try." Kibum doesn't move, and Jinki breathes in a sigh. "What I mean is - "

"No. I understand."

Jinki looks at him, eyes widened and brows raised with genuine expectation.

"I can try." Kibum offers.

"I know that."

Jinki pauses.

Kibum looks up at him and they stay like that for another moment. The relief of a stranger taking you where you need to go, it’s there in Kibum’s eyes. Jinki recognises it.

"I mean," he takes Kibum's hand in his own, looking down at their fingers. "I want to try. I want to trust you this time." Banging on the window, pleading for help, _maybe this is just the same_.

With that, Jinki stands up and opens the door.

This time, Kibum follows.

 

 

 

END

  


**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it - many thanks to my friend string for everything


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